Sometimes I believe, like all jobs, programmers tend to be stereotyped as geeky nerds who spends all their time in front of the monitor screen - correction, MULTIPLE monitor screens, typing code that nobody understands except him and speaking a language that needs a whole cadre of CIA code interpreters to translate into human language. And then they would still mis-translate most of it.
Am I a geek? Well to a certain extend, yes. But I’m a cool geek. See, I’ve actually got a girlfriend! There, that gives me a social life, don’t it? Well at least the other geeks are looking at me like I’m some godly Dr. Phil. Well, I can’t say that I’m a cool guy - actually, far from it. I’m anti-social at times, but at least I speak human language.
So how to turn from a geek to a cool person?
Here’s what a typical geek look like:
The typical thick rimmed glasses, mis-happened teeth, unshaven face and ruffled hair. Plus a terrible sense of fashion, or the total lack of it. Bad hygiene. What else? Well here’s how a cool guy look like:
Difference? Waaaaaaaaay better dress sense, a striking smile with nice teeth, sparkling eyes, well kept face and friendly demeanor.
A world’s difference eh? There’s a saying out there, that how you dress ultimately determines your look. So I was wondering - can a geek turn into a cool dude just by dressing sensibly? Well, let’s see, shall we?
Ugh. Bad photoshop skills aside, there’s no way a geek can turn cool by changing his wardrobe. Well maybe it helps, but then he’d turn into the unappreciated artist instead of a cool dude, which is just as intimidating and anti-social.
So how?
Change the way you talk? From:
Geek: Hey, have you heard about that hydraulic-vortex-triangulator-neo-obfuscator-craptaculon has been released?
to
Geek: Hey, how’s the weather today?
Well it’s a good start, for one - you’re talking about something everybody understands. More importantly, everybody can answer that.
But don’t go overboard.
Geek: Hey babe, lost your wings? I can take you back to heaven…
That’s not cool…
Next, be a generalist, not a specialist! Geeks are called geeks because they are so focused on one single field that they neglect everything else in the world. It’s amazing how some geeks have absolutely zero idea in performing the most basic of everyday tasks, like… how to order a beer in the bar, how to start a conversation without having the other person excusing him/herself five miliseconds later, how to ask for directions and so forth. While their focus might be good for the field that they are involved in, not knowing how to live and survive in this world is simply not an excuse.
Therefore, a geek should take time off their pursuit of ultimate knowledge to involve themselves in tasks like:
- learning how to drive
- learning how to hold a wine glass
- learning how to eat with their mouth closed
- learning that bathing at least once everyday is actually good for their health
- learning to brush their teeth at least twice per day
- learning how not to stutter when talking to the opposite gender
- learning that real women is much better than online porn
And much more. Of course, this means you’ll get less time to spend chasing for the latest in your nerd news circle, but the good thing is you’ll find pussy… I mean, you’ll learn social skills faster than the others, and that matters when you grow out of your nerdness!
You see, geeks are only good when they are single. Unless he is a freaking rich geek (which makes him somewhat cooler than the other geeks, and thus renders this article’s point moot), he’ll need to learn the family thing when they marry, like raising kids, taking case of babies, interacting with other parents, and so forth - ALL that requires basic social skills!
So boys and girls, take my advise, and start generalizing your skillsets from now on. It’ll save you in the long run, and who knows, it might be an ever more interesting adventure!
Leave a Reply