Ruben Tan has severe brain damage after constantly hitting himself whenever he faces problems in his programming projects, and thus have a weird outlook on life which prevents him from being trapped in the surface of lies.

Recently there’s quite a few Hollywood interests in the Chinese or Asian cultures, with mega-budget films like Battle For Red Cliffs, Forbidden Kingdom and Geisha hitting the big screen. Well okay, Battle for Red Cliffs isn’t exactly from Hollywood, and Forbidden Kingdom isn’t really about Chinese culture, but for generalization’s sake and my own dignity as an amateur movie reviewer let’s not be too anal on those facts shall we?

Three Kingdoms

I recently watched the movie Three Kingdoms: Resurrection of the Dragon - which isn’t exactly accurate seeing that the literal translation of the title suggests a dying dragon rather than a resurrected one - and found that while it is an enjoyable movie set in one of my most favorite eras of Chinese history, it is a horribly written albeit well executed piece that probably will be forgotten as one of those films that could have made it big but didn’t.

This movie is a feature film about a legendary Chinese hero by the name of Zhao Yun (played by Andy Lau), or Zhao Zi Long if you are good friends with him. Zhao Yun is a general in Liu Bei’s army during the Three Kingdoms period, and he is portrayed by history as a glimmering example ancient Chinese traditional ideals - brave, smart, good looking, loyal and has powderful kung fu. Like the Legolas of the Three Kingdoms, except he’s more proficient with a spear than a bow and arrow. And he rides horses.  And he has a beard.

Anyway the entire movie is presented from the point of view of a fictional character by the name of Luo Ping An, played by Sammo Hung. He narrates Zhao Zi Long’s rise from a lowly soldier to a fearsome general whose name strikes fear to those who dare oppose his trample.

It starts in a camp somewhere in Qing Shan (Green Hill), where Luo is the lieutenant of the outpost garrison there. Zhao signs up in the army, and then wins the first fight after being advised by Zhu Ge Liang, and then… WHOA. Back up a little. If you have any knowledge of the Three Kingdoms, you’d realize that there’s some serious historical inaccuracies here.

Zhao did not meet Zhuge Liang before he met Liu Bei. In fact, he and Liu Bei have a long history before them, even before the fall of the Han dynasty. They were close friends before that, and he joined Liu Bei much earlier than Zhuge Liang, so it’s impossible that Zhuge Liang would be Liu Bei’s military adviser at the time the Qing Shan outpost was assaulted by Cao cao’s troops.

Which brings me to this film’s ultimate weakness - historical inaccuracies. I am alright with movie producers taking creative license to modify history for scripting purposes, but to completely screw up the timelines is totally unacceptable. This is like saying the A-bomb was dropped on Japan before D-day happened - totally ridiculous!

Then, as far as I can remember cavalries do not ride in stirrups, not until the Ming dynasty. And explosives weren’t invented during the Three Kingdoms yet! Oh my, what a load of… garrrrr!!!!

The rest of the movie is pretty well executed, mainly due to the main casts’ incredible acting. Maggie Q is the weak link here however, in her portrayal of Cao Ying, Cao cao’s supposed brilliant daughter. She just doesn’t seem to be that dangerous and manipulative. Rather, she comes across as a naive commander, in comparison to Andy Lau’s portrayal of Zhao Yun.

The betrayal of the narrator Luo Ping An was also executed poorly, and sounds more like a Deus Ex Machina than an actual plot point. I mean come on, betraying Zhao just because of jealousy? Way too shallow and too amateurish in this era. The twist doesn’t make sense, nor does it serve any purpose at all, other than being the ultimate instrument of Zhao’s downfall in Feng Min Shan.

Conclusion

This movie has a solid cast, and well executed scenes (some fighting scene leave much to be desired though), hampered by a shitty and shallow script, while the glaring historical errors put the nail in its coffin. I would definitely not recommend this movie to anybody at all - there are much better movies out there worth your RM10, but for those who enjoy this sort of movie (war, medieval China, the Three Kingdoms era), well, watch it and forget about it.

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