After a couple days of picture quickies, it’s time to get back to some serious writing. As in the writer is very serious. Anyway, today, Prof. Tan will talk about a very prominent syndrome in girls nowadays called the Ugly Duckling Syndrome.
First, a disclaimer. On second thought, fuck that. Click on the link below to start reading my teeh-shits.
The Ugly Duckling Syndrome
All girls aspire to be beautiful. This aspiration is encouraged by the countless gorgeous women gracing covers of all magazines possible regardless of whether the girl is related to the context of the magazine or not. That’s how skinny and frail models come to appear on hardcore firearm magazines.
There’s a whole industry dedicated to making women beautiful, and this industry is growing by the day as men dive into it too. Moisturizers, toners, mascaras, renewing serums, lipsticks, etc, every single thing dedicated to making you thin like you just spent a year in Africa, making you glow like you just stepped out of Chernobyl, making you… you get the point. Plastic surgery too had seen a great increase in “modern” countries where women are even more conscious about their looks.
So you’re asking, what’s this gotta do with the Ugly Duckling Syndrome? See, every girl wants to be beautiful. They want to look like the models in the magazines, and have people admiring them. Yes, women love attention. And it is a proven fact that men tend to go after beautiful women, so we can’t exactly blame them for the obsession to be physically perfect.
Yet, what about those who aren’t? There are people who are born beautiful, and there are many others who fail to reach the “standards” that society set. Some have dull eyes, some have chubby cheeks, some have crooked noses and some have misaligned teeth. What about them?
A small percentage of them turn beautiful as they grow up. It can be a variety of factors – braces correcting misaligned teeth, plastic surgery straightening malformed noses, diet and exercise eliminating chubby cheeks and maybe overdose of vitamin A’s for brighter eyes. Or maybe a proper mascara and eye shadow. Or cybernetic implants. In any case, these small percentage of women were born ugly and then turn into a hot hoochie mama as they gain the financial ability to right the wrongs of nature. Or god if you’re religious.
These, my friend, are the ugly ducklings.
Now I’m not criticizing these people, and I don’t wish to generalize them. But out of these women, there is a number of them that would develop the ugly duckling syndrome after they turned pretty. This syndrome can be identified as the constant need to seek reassurance to their looks and the excessive obsession over their vanity.
They need to be reminded that they are beautiful, and get depressed when they receive all but one single negative comment. It could be something minor, like “oh you’re fatter today”, and that would send them immediately to the threadmills to work off those imaginary fat cells. They lack true confidence and can easily be defeated by malicious words, even when none of those words are true. Worse, in their obsession on beauty, they often vocally criticize and look down upon people who are uglier than them, not realizing that they used to be part of that “group” when they were young.
Yes, the ugly duckling syndrome – a deadly mental condition that prohibits the growth of confidence and wisdom. But, you can’t blame them for anything, because they’ve been there done that. The world is cruel to ugly people; that’s a fact. Just look at the swarms of guys going after pretty ladies. And then take another look at average or ugly women and see how many of them are single. Am I generalizing? No, I believe I’m telling the truth about society nowadays. These ugly ducklings have been ridiculed in their childhood and see their admired boys seduced and captivated by prettier girls. They have been through the stage of intense jealousy and zero self-esteem.
They practically crawled out from the hells of ugly people and then decided to lay vengeance upon the world by intensifying their treatment towards ugly people – some of might include people that they’ve been jealous at in their childhood.
It creates a negative feedback and breeds even more ugly ducklings. This boosts the beauty industry but let’s ask ourselves – is this truly what we need?
I’m not saying women have no right to be beautiful. In fact, they have all the right to be so. I’m not saying society cannot judge one by one’s looks. They too, have every right to do so. What I am saying is, don’t be an ugly duckling. When you’re beautiful, believe it and have faith in it. Know that beauty is fleeting and one day you will lose that prettiness. So treasure it now and when the day comes and you lose that beauty; do not fear and do not despair, for you would have more than just beauty by then.
Encourage, don’t ridicule. Teach, don’t criticize. Don’t create more ugly ducklings from your own personal vendetta
And oh, don’t go for breast implants just because your man says he likes big boobs. If he does, tell him to go for a ball implant because you like basket-ball sized sacks.
Mr. Tan,
Im not one to post a blog and in fact, it is only by my compelling feelings that I do so right now.
I was recently told that I was an ugly duckling… And so I searched the definition of it and found various definitions including yours.
When I was young, I was really chubby. No one asked me out. In fact people made fun of me, played pranks, kicked my backpack in the hallway… kids can be mean. This was all throughout middle and high school.
Near the end of high school, my doctor found out I had hypothyroid and after taking supplements of the hormone that my body wasn’t creating, my weight rapidly dropped.
When I look in the mirror today, it’s difficult to see someone beautiful. But I’m not stupid. Guys never paid any favorable attention to me before. Now guys ask me out every time I go out. I am not saying this to brag. It’s just how it is now and it’s strange to me. The point is, I get that people think I’m attractive now, even if I don’t think it.
What bothered me about your essay is that you seem to think that people like us tend to want to have revenge on other ugly people? I know you said you don’t want to generalize, but do you know people like this? Because I know I am nothing like that and I can’t imagine that overall, former ugly ducklings are like this. (perhaps I read you wrong, and if I did, I apologize).
If anything, every time I meet a child or person who has self esteem issues, I always try to make a point to tell them how beautiful they are… because I would never want another person to go through the terrible feelings I had to grow up with.
I do have a vendetta, however. I’m upset that looks should matter so much. The fact that I was fat before and attractive now shouldn’t matter to how men perceive me. And being asked out now because they think I’m pretty really just makes me angry. I am the same person that I was before. I don’t feel different. And their attraction to me now doesn’t feel real. It feels shallow.
You know… the thing that upsets me is when men say, “An ugly duckling is the best of both worlds. She is hot and has a great personality and because she thinks she is ugly, she will date ugly guys.” (I saw this in a few forums).
You know… I’ve seen many beautiful women with ugly men. But I’ve yet to find a good looking man with an ugly woman. Women today face such unfair standards. And because of these unfair standards. Its no wonder that so many women are catty and jealous.
Sometimes I listen to guys talk (who are not that attractive)… and, not all, but many of them talk as if they have a right to date women who are beautiful. She’s only good if she is both. What about us women? What do we deserve?
Former UglyDuckling
December 12th, 2008
Just to quote myself: “But out of these women, there is a number of them that would develop the ugly duckling syndrome after they turned pretty.”
I didn’t say ALL of them would develop such syndrome – only a number.
And you’re right – it is often the prejudice of men that gives fuel to such syndromes, but do also remember that while men look for beauty, it is not so much different as women looking for rich men. Or in their words, men who are “financially stable” or “capable”.
However, I think your vendetta isn’t healthy. I used to be poor and I certainly do not flaunt my riches once I am more financially secure. Rather, I become more generous, and more understanding of those down on their luck or in need of money. Although I can relate to your past experiences, I cannot agree that you should feel offended when men date you just because they see you as beautiful. Outlooks are important, and most of the time it is a person’s outer shell that attracts attention, which would then lead to further developments. Personality takes some time to manifest and to be appreciated, so you shouldn’t really blame men for pouncing on the closest and most tangible thing they can find. After all, if there’s no beginning, how would there be a journey in the first place?
admin
December 13th, 2008
Mr. Tan,
Forgive me, I misread you. I thought you meant that the Ugly Duckling Syndrome was simply the low self esteem woman can retain even after turning pretty. I disagreed with the fact that women with low self esteem issues will be mean to other girls because I still have low self esteem issues regarding my looks (I still don’t feel comfortable wearing tight clothes or dresses and when a guy says I’m beautiful… its really hard to accept) and, because I do, I try to make sure other women never go through that.
But now I realize your definition is darker… Ugly Duckling Syndrome is when a woman takes out her self-esteem issues on other victims by abusing them the same way they were abused. Creating a cycle… If I understand you correctly, than I agree with you. And in fact, I’d like to add, they don’t have to turn pretty to continue this cycle. People with low self esteem and abuse issues can abuse other people regardless of if they turn desirable or not. But I think these people need to get professional help because breaking this kind of cycle is painful and complicated. Its not usually as simple as reading your blog and realizing they must change.
As for the rest of your last blog, I do see your point. And please do not read me wrong. I do not hate men. I do not go around living my life wanting revenge. I definitely don’t regret my past. I appreciate my experiences for the outlook it has provided for me. Perhaps I’m a bit unhealthy… but I can’t be perfect… and I am learning to not expect myself to be. =) I actually really do enjoy life and men. Haha.
It does make me sad how superficial both men and women can be. Living in Los Angeles doesn’t make this outlook any easier. I suppose I live in a particularly superficial city.
I understand that outlooks are important, even a matter of survival. If I’m walking down the street, as a girl, I need to be able to judge who looks dangerous or trustworthy. Same with finding a date. Judging someone is the first step to getting to know them. The saying, “Don’t judge a book by it’s cover” is easier said than done and is more idealistic than realistic. There has to be that initial attraction. It’s only natural for a man to want a beautiful young woman. Its only natural for a woman to want a secure man who can take care of her.
I guess I’m a bit different. Like you, I have also been poor and came from a very poor family. Because of this, I decidedly try not to look at a man’s wallet or physical physique when I decide to give him a chance. Of course, even I have limits.
But I know what its like to be judged and for me, I just enjoy meeting lots of people from all walks of life, regardless of their looks or financial status. I feel there is something to learn from each and every one of them and everyone deserves to feel accepted, appreciated, and special. In doing so, I’ve met a few guys that I am definitely not compatible with(granted)… but I have also met some great people, even a couple boyfriends, who I wouldn’t have met otherwise.
I guess I wished guys would have given me this kind of chance back when I wasn’t as attractive. I have a lot to offer now… but I also had a lot to offer back then.
Oh well… It’s getting late, this is another long novel, and I’m not sure if I’m even making sense anymore. Thanks for taking the time to read my response, Mr. Tan.
Hope everyone out there has Happy Holidays.
Goodnight.
Former UglyDuckling
December 17th, 2008
Nice one. Thanks for taking the time to share your thoughts. Deeply appreciate it.
admin
December 18th, 2008
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After finding a bunch of garbage today, I’m glad I found your site. It’s hard to find some worthwhile info about this industry. Just wanted to say I like the site and keep it going….
Click Here
March 28th, 2009
Great post! Just wanted to let you know you have a new subscriber- me!
AndrewBoldman
June 5th, 2009