The new year has cometh and like all other sane beings on this world, I have decided to list down my top 10 2009 resolutions. Here goes:

10 ) Become a ninja

Yes. I’m not kidding. I want to wear those cool black uniforms and masks and jump around screaming like a mad monkey while throwing shurikens, kuneis and banana bombs at people and then disappearing in a smoke bomb. That would be UBER cool.

9 ) Bungee jump

I’ve heard of how people died in bungee jumps and I want to prove the world wrong. Well at least this would come after I’ve become a ninja…

8 ) Buy a turbo car

To be specific, a brand new Ah-Bengized Kancil with a turbine made of powerful CPU casing fans. That would totally blow all the supercars off the road!

7 ) Beat my old record in the dump

My old record is 6″. This time I need to eat more fibre and try for a massive 7″ monster.

6 ) Eat less McDonalds

It’s unhealthy! That’s why I need to convert to other fast food. Like KFC or something.

5 ) Do the via ferrata in Mt. KK

It’s the toughest climb ever in this part of the world and I want to try it. Again, my ninja training would proof useful here, and my conversion to other fast food might be a huge boost to my stamina.

4 ) Get a prettier girlfriend (AKA wallpaper in human terms)

Angelina Jolie’s really hot but I think I need something more Asian. Sonija Kwok maybe, if I can find her wallpaper. I mean girlfriend.

3 ) Do charity

As a ninja, I’ll be able to steal lots of money from gangsters to finance my own charity fund. Then I’ll donate to all Ninjutsu schools around the country to train more ninjas.

2 ) Organize a secret society

The requirements would be high: you need to have sub-50 IQ and know how to make banana bombs. The latter requirement is of utmost importance.

1 ) Become the REAL batman

That’s right. Once I complete all 2-10 goals, I would have everything Batman has. And more - I have banana bombs. That’ll show the world!

This entry was posted on Thursday, January 22nd, 2009 at 7:56 am and is filed under Rants. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.